And The Outside Of The Inside’
Listening to a podcast by Ilio Delio as I drove to work the other morning a phrase that she used resonated deeply with me. She referred to someone being on the ‘inside of the outside and the outside of the inside’. This spoke to me of where I believe Mercy calls each of us to be, regardless of our disparate realities. I felt it described where I was heading, to begin my day’s work.
For the past few years, I have had the privilege of ministering as a Chaplain in Ireland’s largest prison, Midlands, which is currently overcrowded, holding close to 1,000 men from across the globe between 18 years and 85 years old, serving sentences, which vary from a few months to life. Each has left a trail of victims whose lives are impacted in a myriad of ways. Each too has left families, whether in touch or estranged, whom we also support, especially when their partner or son is newly committed. These families can find themselves struggling to manage their shattered lives and the fall-out from what has happened, in the glare of sensationalist media coverage. In some ways, the men are sheltered from this, although they can get a hard time from other inmates if the case hits the papers, particularly if it is of a sexual nature.
Prison is a harsh and brutal environment, loud, stark and at times violent. Overcrowding and drug misuse turn up the volume on each aspect for men and staff alike. All is not doom and gloom though as I daily witness acts of kindness between some men who share from the little they have. As Chaplains, we are the only service, apart from officers, given a set of keys and freedom to roam the landings. The men who see us as being on their side and willing to advocate on their behalf usually welcome us. We get to be with them at the best and worst of times, whether it is engaging in their banter, hearing about their struggles or walking through crises alongside them, whenever we have had to break bad news or as they cope with news of a lengthy sentence. While it can take time to gain trust, the men open up and share deeply, while never excusing their crimes, telling stories of trauma, addiction, and oftentimes – mental health issues, which can somehow explain their journey to the furthest margins of society. Being a Prison Chaplain offers the chance to be a face of the mercy and love of God at the ‘inside of the outside’ so to speak, among those whose actions have led them there. As Pope Francis himself said ‘who am I to judge’.
Chaplains, although independent, take part in the multi-disciplinary team within the prison system, placing us firmly ‘on the outside of the inside’. A Chaplain, to borrow a term from Richard Rohr gets to be a sort of ‘officially licensed critic’ challenging decisions that affect the men; due to our unique relationships with the men and their families, we often get to hear what others don’t and can put an action or attitude in context. Chaplains can, through our Annual Reports, be the proverbial thorn in the side of the prison system, offering a unique vantage point and critique. While I find it difficult to explain exactly what a prison Chaplain does, I do however know why I, and many Sisters before me, have ministered in prison. I believe that as prisoners are literally and figuratively on the outside of society, it is the kind of place where Mercy is called to be, ‘on the inside of the outside and the outside of the inside’, as we choose again to live our Mercy Mission in every encounter.
Marion Ryan rsm
South Central Province
