When I retired thirteen years ago, I spent some time reflecting on what ministry I would get involved in. At that time, I had a congregational commitment so it would have to be something that would fit in with my work schedule. I had worked with Clarecare – a Social Services Organisation in Clare for thirteen years and as a Social Worker in Milford Hospice in Limerick for a similar amount of time. I had gained a lot of knowledge/experience/skills during my working career, and it seemed appropriate that I would use this experience in the Ministry of Visitation.
I began by visiting four Nursing Homes in the vicinity as I knew quite a few people who were resident in them. I was fortunate to have in our Community of Mercy an Assisted Living Community where some of the Sisters who taught me or lived with me in my earlier years were now living. We had a lot of memories and experiences to share. Having worked in Shannon as a Social Worker I knew a number of colleagues with whom I had worked in the past and also a number of past clients and their families. So that is where I began- making contact with them.
The children I had worked with as a Social Worker were now adults – thankfully they had got out of the poverty trap but had other problems e.g. poor health, complex relationship problems, overcrowding etc.; I made an occasional visit to these young adults who were always grateful for a listening ear. For me it was very rewarding to hear them speak so positively of their experience of the Childrens’ Holiday Scheme which Clarecare organised every year during my period working with the organisation. The children got four days by the sea in Spanish Point. While I always tried to bring a mix of children on the holiday I often wondered in later life, if there was a stigma attached to the holiday scheme. But no, they thoroughly enjoyed and recalled many happy memories of the holiday and the escapades they got up to.
Their parent(s) also formed part of the cohort that I visited. Many of them had fallen on poor health after a lifetime of hardship. I think they genuinely appreciated my visits. It was good to be able to draw on my experiences as a Social Worker and enable them to access services that would improve their quality of life. When they became terminally ill, I helped them overcome their fear of the Hospice and enabled them to avail of the services of the Hospice/Home Care services. They had no fear of attending the Palliative Day Care Centre and the Hospice. It was very rewarding to see them enjoy the comfort and support offered by Milford Hospice. Interestingly many of the women I visited died from a terminal illness. I then supported their husbands who were now grieving and who welcomed me into their house because they already knew me. My last few years working in Milford was with the Bereavement Service so that experience was helpful as I tried to support grieving partners. Often a phone call now and again was appreciated while others liked a visit. It was important to me to respect their wishes.
My visitation brought me into contact with depressed people, people coping with addictions and others trying to negotiate the painful journey into Dementia. Because of my work experience I was able to steer people towards services and devices (e.g. personal alarms support groups) that would improve their quality of life. My social work training enabled me to stay with them even when they refused the help offered. There are times when I offer to bring Holy Communion to them if I think it is appropriate. This has always been gratefully accepted.
Then the COVID pandemic came along, and everything changed. The pattern of visitation changed too and now included a phone call or a card. This period was extremely difficult for residents in the Nursing Homes. The phone call or letter reminded them that they were not forgotten or abandoned. The “Free Mail” to Nursing Home residents was a wonderful initiative and hopefully it will continue. My experience of visiting residents in the Nursing Homes taught me an important lesson. While all the residents I visit would like to live at home, they realise that due to disabilities or circumstances this was not possible. All of them were making the most of their situation and were filled with gratitude for all that was being done for them.
Every so often, I recall all the people I used to visit and who have died. I always remember to visit their graves or offer a prayer when I pass the house. I had no difficulty in finding new people to visit. I love to walk and generally walk on my own. I stop to chat and admire the dogs. Gradually they share their stories with me and invariably ask me to call to their home if I have time. That is how I get my referrals. I don’t have to wait for a referral from somebody else and best of all I can always visit in my own time.
Since retiring I have had a few health issues, so the flexibility of this ministry suits me.
Sr. Fionnuala Glynn
South Central Province
