To be allowed to share the life story of another is a privilege. To be trusted to share the joys and struggles of that story is truly precious.
This is how it was when I first got to know Maria (not her real name). One day she allowed me to see and handle her most precious possessions – a beautiful hand-worked cloth and two pillow cases embroidered with blue cotton. These are the sole remnants of her life in Kosovo before war forced her, her two year old daughter and baby son to flee to a camp in Albania.
Those whose situation is desperate will, I suppose, take desperate chances. After some time in the camp and a failed attempt to flee, Maria made contact with those who traffic and trade on the desperation of others, and somehow arranged to make the journey to Ireland, concealed in a container. The journey, as I’ve been told it, was hazardous and terrifying. The first part was by truck, a very big high truck, with instructions to jump and run if stopped by soldiers. Then three days and two nights in a container. This was particularly awful. There were no facilities of any kind, no food, no water and no toilet arrangements. The man in charge was angry and threatening and nervy. If the little boy made a sound, he covered the child’s mouth with his hand. It was a dreadful journey but the stowaways were not found by authorities and after some time the family came to live in Inchicore. It was then I got to know Maria, her daughter and her son, whom I would like to call ‘Joseph’ as he had been fleeing into exile.
At that time, about 2004, the Principal of our local primary school thought it would be helpful to offer an opportunity to parents who wished to improve their English skills and so be able to get more involved in school life. I worked with that group and got to know Maria whose little son Joseph was, at this time, at school.
Joseph, a quiet lad, proved to be a very bright pupil and did very well at school, at ease in his mother-tongue and English. At secondary level Joseph’s interest and ability in science subjects began to show. This interest and diligence paid off in excellent leaving Certificate marks and he gained entrance to a science course at Trinity College in Dublin.
During these years my acquaintance with the family grew into warm friendship. We exchanged visits and news regularly, marked birthdays, special days and special occasions. We shared joys, like the celebration of their gaining Irish citizenship, and watched out for any difficulties. Mary Anne, my community companion, and I offered support and helped out a little if possible. Maria shared any happy news or anxieties and I tried to give her the security of having a friend she could trust and turn to in a strange place.
During term time Joseph worked away busily and in holiday or break times got jobs to save the money he might need later to finance a further course. He quietly shared stories of his studies at Trinity. I noticed the consistently excellent grades but I did not realise how very well he was doing until he successfully completed his studies and I received an invitation to his graduation.
Joseph had done really well but he had a dream of another step.
On application he was accepted for and is currently undertaking an intensive two year full time MSc course in Physician Associate Studies. This course began in mid-January 2021. He secured one of only fifteen places available for the course.
This new course is intense and has its challenges.
Joseph is the only student in the group who has no history of professional qualifications in his family background. He shared, “I might spend hours researching and another student will say ‘I asked my Dad. He is a doctor’”.
He has encouragement and appreciation of effort from home but academic and financial support from his family is very limited.
In these COVID times when ‘Zooming’ is common, Joseph works from the modest kitchen of his home but whatever the demands he says “I am loving every minute of it”.
In late August 2021 he began his first placement experience. He was a little apprehensive at the beginning but excited and enthusiastic also. The public commute from home to work is not simple but he will always be there on time.
He began the second year of the course in January 2022. A little Mercy help has given him the security he needs so that he can continue and have the opportunity to concentrate on the demands of the work.
Joseph’s story, from war, to a container, to a career in medicine, is, I feel, a Good News story. This is the fine young man who has worked hard and is making the best use of his God-given gifts. His hope is that, in time, he will be able to help others who may be less fortunate than himself.
The years of friendship with Joseph and his family has taught me much about the courage it took to try to start a new life and to struggle with barriers of isolation, loneliness and insecurity, to cope with a new language and a different lifestyle. Knowing this family is a real blessing and enrichment in my life.
January 2022
As I write, it is now mid-January 2022. Joseph celebrated his COVID delayed graduation from Trinity on January 10th last. He was allowed only two guests at the ceremony and I was honoured to be there with his mother.
It was a wonderful day and so moving to see him dressed up, gowned, participating confidently in the solemn, almost church-like ceremony and afterwards happily renewing acquaintances with former classmates. That bright, sunny, winter afternoon was such a happy scene as Joseph and the other graduates chatted, introduced families, took photographs, shared news and generally rejoiced.
For me, the whole experience was emotional and deeply moving. I was privileged to be there to support a little and join in the rejoicing. I cannot find the right words to tell how it was for Maria, Joseph’s Mum. It was a joy, a dream, a day of love and pride and wonder – a day for a mother to rejoice with her son.
Later we went for a simple, quiet meal. I was surprised, almost shocked, when Maria said that she had never before in her life had a meal in a hotel. She was delighted, almost enchanted, by the pleasant surroundings, the choice of food, the service. I was well aware that the family lived quietly and modestly but I began to realise more clearly how very simply they lived. Over the meal we chatted. Maria shared a lot of her life, the customs of her family, and her experiences before coming to Ireland. Joseph said, “The traditional food is OK but you can’t beat an Irish burger”.
It was a wonderful ending to a wonderful day.
Breda Burke rsm
South Central Province
